Red vs Blue Rebirth
by sniperjun899
Summary: I suck at summaries, so just read the A/N to get the jist of whats going on.


Prelude: Ok, Church was never an A.I, he was really a ghost, Donut never killed Tex, Maine became the Meta, but Wash snapped him out of it, the were never destroyed by the Emp, Donut was never killed, Maine, Wash, and Tex joined the Blues, Tex was never the bitch she is in the show, Maine has a soft side, Alpha went into storage along with Epsilon, and the Reds and the Blues moved back to Valhalla. Got it? Good. By the way, the character's appearances are based on the ones done by Luke McKay. Look it up on YouTube. Now on with the show!

"What the hell?" "What's up?" "Hey Tuck. This door isn't supposed to be locked!" "Church, is that where you keep your snacks?" Caboose asked as he came into the room. "…No, shut the fuck up Caboose. It's where I keep my…uh…sniper rounds." Church told Caboose. "Sure Church. That must be why your stomach hasn't shut up this whole time." "SHUT UP TUCKER!" Caboose and Church yelled at Tucker, leaving both Church and Tucker staring at Caboose in a stunned silence. "Buenos Dias cock-bites. What's up?" Tex asked as she walked into the room, a beer in one hand and an assault rifle in the other. "I must be having a nightmare… I'm going to get a beer…" Tucker muttered as he left the room looking for the fridge. "Hey! What did I do?!" Tex yelled after Tucker. "No, it's not you, at least as far as I know. Caboose just yelled at him to shut up." Church explained to her, leaving her glancing back and forth between her ex and undoubtedly the cutest and most mild mannered member of the team. "…You're lying." Tex finally said after a few minutes of silence. "No I'm not! You can even ask him yourself!" Church said, to which Caboose cheerfully said, "Yep! I yelled at the mean black guy!" leaving Tex jaw dropped. "Told ya." Church said with a smug look on his face.

_Meanwhile at Red Base….._

"DUDE! THIS IS BADASS!" Grif said as he walked into the Holograph Chamber. "I know right!" Simmons replied as he followed his orange teammate. "Shut up, Grif!" Sarge ordered as he followed his maroon second-in-command. Once they had all reached the viewing platform, Sarge fired up the projector, displaying a giant Spartan in the middle of the room, nearly making Grif jump into Simmons' arms, who was expecting it. Sarge chuckled as he adjusted the Spartan to match the picture on his H.U.D, and then once he was satisfied, he turned around to face the giant Spartan and removed his helmet, feeling it redundant. Once his changes had been configured and saved, the giant hologram shrunk down to the size of a normal Spartan and moved over to the viewing platform, and slowly began to rotate. "Listen up cupcakes, Command is sending us a new soldier in our next supply drop which will also include a new All-Terrain-Vehicle." Sarge told his men as Simmons and Grif gawked at the figure rotating before their eyes. The displayed a tall, female soldier with a Scout helmet, Sniper and Security left and right shoulders, respectively, Tac/Recon chest-plate, Tac/UGPS on her wrist, Tac/Hardcase on her hip, GRENADIER knee-guards, black visor, and a Steel base with Coral highlights. "HOLY CRAP! DO YOU SEE THE SIZE OF THE KNIFE ON HIS SHOULDER!?" "Actually Grif, the projector is displaying a female." Simmons corrected his excited teammate. "Yes, Simmons, they are sending a girl to join out ranks. Her name: Agent Minnesota." "Wait, wait, wait. You mean they're sending a FREELANCER to our team?" Grif asked, sobering upon hearing the new soldier's name, putting extra emphasis on the word "Freelancer".

_Later, at Blue Base….._

Tex was sitting on her bunk, rubbing her forehead in confusion. "What happened to Caboose?" She said to herself. Caboose had been a lot more hostile to Tucker, Wash, Maine, and even Church and Sheila lately. The only person Caboose hasn't been hostile to, Tex realized, was herself. In fact, Caboose had become more protective of Tex. "Ugh…It just doesn't make sense!" Texas groaned as she fell back on her bunk. A few moments later a knocking at the door, followed by the growl that instantly identified the owner. "Come on in Maine." Tex called to her large, muscular friend. Maine entered the room, followed by his fiery orange companion, Sigma. "Hey Sigma, how're you?" Tex asked Maine's companion as she cleared a spot on her bunk for her friend as he walked over. "I am well, Agent Texas, thank you." Sigma replied as his partner sat down next to Tex, the bunk creaking under their combined weight. Maine looked at Sigma and growled something softly to him, to which Sigma disappeared. Maine took off his helmet, which he wore almost everywhere, and looked softly at Tex with his large blue eyes. "Ya know I never knew how someone as big as you could look as sweet as they are, but here you are, pulling it off." Tex said, giving her local colossus a playful nudge, resulting in a choppy growl that the team had come to know as his way of laughing. "Hey you who'd you give the rest of the A.I.s to?" Tex asked, to which the former Meta pulled out a sheet of paper that read: "Delta-Caboose, Omega-Tex, Gary-Andy, Epsilon-Wash, Sigma-Carolina, Alpha-Church, Theta-?" "What happened to North and Carolina?" The smaller, yet more agile former Freelancer asked, resulting in a sorrowful snap of Maine's fingers, causing Sigma to re-appear and answer "Agent South Dakota placed her brother in Maine's path when he went on a rampage." Tex raised an eyebrow at this, causing Sigma to quickly add, "Which I do feel responsible for. As for Agent Carolina, her death is as mysterious as Agent Georgia's." The two Freelancers looked at Sigma, then back at each other and started laughing at the mention of Georgia.

_The next morning, at Red Base_

After the Pelican had dropped off the supplies and the new vehicle, dubbed by Sarge as the "Chupababy", the Reds anxiously awaited the arrival of the Freelancer. But after the Pelican left, the Reds went about searching for the new soldier. When Grif got a tap on the shoulder while he was looking around for snacks, he fell flat on his face, causing a VERY loud burst of feminine laughter to erupt, audible from across the canyon, and the sound of a grav lift launching thrice could heard in response. While Grif tried to regain some of his dignity, Minnesota, or "Minnie", walked outside to see three very familiar faces barreling towards her. And soon, the Reds were looking at a very peculiar sight: four Freelancers rolling around on the ground wrestling, Minnie finally coming out on top. Once all of them were back on their feet, the Reds had their firearms trained on Maine's, Tex's, and Wash's heads when Minnie literally took them off of their feet and stole their guns, running towards Blue base yelling "Come and Catch Me!" laughing like a maniac. Minnie slowed down for a second, then ran back, stole the other Freelancer's weapons, then ran away again, laughing all the while. "Hey Maine?" "Grr?" "I think we have a match for Theta!"

_Blue Base_

"3…2…1…Now." Minnie thought as she ran through Blue Base, counting until the Reds and her old friends started to realize what had happened. Sure enough, right on cue, she heard a loud "GET HER!" from the other sound of the canyon, and soon, _thump, thump, earthquake, crash, crash, crash, crash " _WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?" Church and Tucker screamed. Minnie strolled outside after leaving their weapons on the table to find an impatient Tex and Wash, an angry Maine, and four Reds sprawled out. "Hey Minnie?" "Yeah Wash?" "Yah might wanna give Maine his Knifle back, like, now." "Oh pooh, you guys were more fun than this before." Minnie pouted, but went back in and grabbed their weapons, and a few more "surprises". She brought them out and showed them something that she saw back on Reach: DMRs. "They're basically a cross between a sniper rifle and a battle rifle. Semi-automatic, 2x magnification, pretty powerful, want to try them out?" Minnie asked the Reds and Freelancers in front of her, and every hand went up, even Sarge's. Soon DMR shots rang out throughout the canyon, causing Church, Tucker, and Caboose to panic and run outside to see an improvised firing range. Soon the trio joined them, Church surprisingly hitting the target in the bulls-eye every time. No-one noticed the brown shadow sneaking into Blue Base, then sneak back out with the Blue Flag over to a fort in the caves that was made out of the supplies that Red Team had gotten earlier in the day, both ends sealed off with titanium doors. "Soon, Beta, soon…" the mysterious figure whispered to his midnight blue glowing counterpart.

_Later…._

"YOU DIRTY REDS!"

"YOU BASTARDLY BLUES!"

"Hey Wash. Hey Tex." Minnie said to her friends standing on the top of Blue base. "Hey Minnie." They replied at the same time. "What's wrong with them?" Minnie asked, referring to Valhalla's local goofballs. "Oh the Blues think the Reds stole their flag, and vice versa." Wash replied. "….Hey Wash can you hand me a sniper?" Minnie asked, staring at the caves. "Sure Minnie" "…. just as I thought…." "What do yah see?" the former #1 asked. "Tex, look at the caves for a second." The childish soldier replied, handing over the rifle. "Ok…." "Wash, go and get Maine. Meet me and Tex at the caves." "Ok…" "If that's who I think it is, life is going to get A LOT more interesting here…." Once Tex and Minnie had met Wash and Maine at the caves, they pondered how to get in the caves. "How the hell are we going to get in there?" Tex asked. "Knifle?" Wash asked. "NO! NO EXPLOSIVES!" Minnie screamed. "Hey what about the first part of the Knifle? Chop the lock off?" Theta asked timidly, leaving Sigma a little annoyed that his purple counterpart stole his idea. "YEAH! HI-FIVE!" Minnie yelled, giving Theta a disturbingly realistic hi-five. _chop. _Soon all of the Freelancers were in the caves, Minnie leading, and Maine taking the rear, Tex and Minnie searching for their brown friend, and Minnie's boyfriend. "Umm what are we looking for?" Wash asked, still wondering what the hell was going on. "Him." Tex replied, tuning and pointing to a hologram that she had O'Malley project. The hologram showed a figure taller than Maine, but slightly less muscular, in a brown custom set of armor, consisting of an EVA [C] Helmet, Sniper shoulders, a Tac/Recon chest-plate, a Tac/Tacpad, a Tac/Softcase, FJ/PARA knees, and a black visor. "Oh yeah I remember him. Colorado. He was a real asshole." Epsilon said, suddenly appearing. "DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT!" Minnie said explosively, turning to the little target of her wrath and drawing drawing her kukri, leaving Theta, Tex, O'Malley, Wash, Epsilon, Maine, and Sigma in a stunned silence, and Minnie a bit flustered. "Let's just find him." Minnie said quietly, turning around just in time to see the familiar tall figure clad in brown armor tackling her.

BREIF RECAP: Caboose has started to fall in love with Tex, the Reds got a new soldier named Minnie, Maine gave Minnie Theta, Minnie showed the Valhalla soldiers DMRs, Colorado stole the Red's and the Blue's flags, and Minnie and Colorado just met for the first time in 10 years. Got it? Good. Now Back to the Show! Oh and THANK GOD for Vanity!

_A few hours later, at Red Base…_

"Ok… Let me get this straight." Colorado said with his brows furrowed in concentration. "Tex kicked Carolina's ass, C.T was a traitor, Utah died in training because his bubble shield suffocated him, once we got Carolina gave hers to Maine, South is a whiny bitch who sacrificed her brother to to save her own hide. Huh no surprise there. Epsilon went nuts in Wash's head, Maine went on a Sigma-induced rampage, Wash calmed him down, and now here we are all together, nobody trying to fight to get to the #1 spot in the leaderboard. I miss anything?" Colorado explained to himself, resulting in a simultaneous "Nope" from around the room. "Ok good." He sighed as he reclined in Grif's Lazy-Boy chair that reeked of beer and….Twinkies? "Ugh….I am so fucking sore…" Colorado complained, resulting in a round of questioning looks from around the room. "What? You think carrying all that shit is easy for anyone but Maine?" "Eh Touché." Minnie gave in. "By the way, why?" Wash butted in. "Why did you steal the Red's supplies and the flags?" "I'm pretty sure that Epsilon has the answer for that. That is, if he isn't busy swearing his head off." Colorado said, a little smug. "Epsilon?" Tex and Wash asked the powder blue A.I. "Yeah, Colorado was ALWAYS sneaking around. The little asshole." Epsilon's last remark sent Minnesota reaching for her kukri, but Colorado stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. "The only person who could always see him," Epsilon continued, "Was Minnesota. Or was it June?" Epsilon said, getting very vicious. "THAT'S RIGHT! I SAID IT! MUAHAHAHAHA!" "Minnie…" Colorado warned, but it was too late. "Listen here you rude little asshole! I may have to put up with the original Church and Alpha, but I do not have to put up with you! Next time you make one snarky comment to me or Isaac, I will personally have Wash take you out and I will chop you up and blow you apart with Maine's Knifle! GOT IT!?" Minnie raged at the little asshole, kukri pointed at him. Epsilon could only nod at the angry Freelancer as she stormed back to her seat next to Colorado. "By the way, the only person who is allowed to call me June is Isaac." Minnie said as she looked at Colorado, who looked absolutely mortified, as if Minnie had just told the world his biggest secret. Minnie saw his expression and mentally played through what she had just said to Epsilon. Once she realized her mistake, she looked as mortified as Colorado. As they both looked at each other, they said at the same time time "Well fuck."

_A few days later, the caves…._

"Ugh, why did I have to open my mouth?" Minnie groaned. Colorado was pacing back and forth while Beta and Theta were in his armor brainstorming with him on how to get the others to forget Minnesota's and Colorado's real names. "Hey why bother right? We know Tex is Allison, Washington is David, and while I was in the Meta's head I saw that his parents had actually named him Maine." Theta suggested a little boldly. "Theta that would work if one little detail didn't exist: Colorado and Minnesota here don't exactly have a *ahem* _clean_ past." Beta gently corrected his cute purple friend. "Dammit…" Theta muttered under his breath, shocking everybody with his obscenity. "What?" He asked innocently. "Being around you guys, yah pick up a few things!" Minnie shrugged in agreement. The vocabulary at Blue Base wasn't exactly clean, in fact quite the opposite. "Maybe if we could get Alpha to infect them and remove the memory?" Theta suggested. "That is if we could get Church to agree, then we would have to have Alpha wipe that to." Beta pointed out. "Oh I don't know Beta, Minnie can be _very_ persuasive." Colorado said, siding with Theta. Minnie realized what they were talking about and protested loudly "Oh no. Hell no!" "Come on Minnie, think about it! One night with Church, and all the nights you want with Colorado!" Theta said, surprising everybody with his boldness. Minnie grumbled under her breath, but finally agreed to the plan. "That's my girl!" Colorado exclaimed, giving his girlfriend a giant bear hug. "Ugh! You're crushing my ribs!" Minnie groaned, causing Colorado to let go immediately. "Sorry 'bout that." Colorado chuckled sheepishly. "Hey Beta, what part of Alpha are you?" Theta asked his blue counterpart, while Minnie tried to catch her breath "I'm Alpha's stealth. Kind of like taking a little of Gamma mixed with a little of Delta, add an obsession with darkness and shadows, throw on a dark blue glowing skin, and hey presto, you got one bad ass A.I." Beta explained, chuckling at the last part "What part are you?" Beta asked in return. "I…don't know… I think innocence, but knowing Alpha, he's not very innocent." Theta replied after some thought. "Hey Theta could you go back to Minnie's armor for me? I'm starting to get a headache having the two of you in here." Colorado asked the cute little A.I, rubbing his temples. "Sure thing, 'Rado." Theta replied, jumping back into Minnesota's armor. Minnie didn't notice Theta's jump back, she was too busy staring at her boyfriend's face. His face was very thin and slender, but muscular like the rest of his body. He had large grey eyes, a nose that was shaped a bit like a straight slide at a playground, and a mouth that was always set in a concentrated frown that intensified whenever he was working on something that required most of his attention. His rough, shaggy, dirty-blonde hair had started to curl around his ears due to the length of it since his hair was so thick that it had even broken a chainsaw when it had already broken a pair of clippers, scissors, a knife, and a katana. "I still owe Cali for that." Minnie realized, having Theta make a note to get California a new katana. The only thing that marred Colorado's lightly tanned face were three large scars running parallel from his left temple all the way down to his jawbone on the opposite side. (How he got those scars is an entirely different story.) "What?" Colorado asked innocently after clearing his headache and realizing he was being watched. "Is there something on my face?" He asked, a bit worried when Minnie started giggling. "No, I just can't get enough of your sweet face." Minnie responded after catching her breath. "I could say the same." Colorado replied, enveloping Minnie in his embrace again, however holding her lightly to his chest, as if he was afraid to let her go. Minnie's facial features was the same as 'Rado's face in many ways, but the opposite the others. She had the same face and nasal shape as her lover, but she had smaller eyes than he did, and they were an ice-blue sort of color, contrasting with her shoulder length raven black hair that was very soft and thin. Her mouth was always in a smile, except when she was around Epsilon or not near another Freelancer, since she had managed to manage friends with all of the other agents, even Carolina and South. Minnesota had a care-free air about her, and 'Rado had an air of seriousness surrounding him, the two balancing each other out, 'Rado reminding Minnie when it was time to calm down and focus, and Minnie reminding 'Rado to just let go and have fun sometimes. "I never got used to your hugs yah know?" Minnie said calmly, earning a worried look from the one holding her. "Every time, it feels like the first time you ever gave me a hug, back when we found out that York was going to be ok, minus the missing eye. It feels….Electric." Minnie continued, not seeing 'Rado's first worried, then relived, expression. "Hey Minnie?" "Yeah 'Rado?" "I was gonna give you this to you for Valentine's day ten years ago, but you had to leave early, so I guess now would be a better time than never." Colorado said as he got down on one knee, pulling out a small box and opening it to reveal a ring that had a round piece of copper on one side, a round ruby on the other, and in-between them, a fair sized diamond. "June Leigh Wesley, will you…." Colorado never got to finish his proposal as Minnie realized what he was saying and tackled him, all the while kissing him and saying "YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES!" Colorado looked expectantly at the two floating by where Minnie was standing before she tackled he fiancé and said "Can you two bear witness against any doubters?" he asked their floating compatriots, rewarded with a double thumbs up from Beta and Theta throwing fireworks into the air. "Man it's been forever since I got to use those!" Theta exclaimed excitedly, both himself and Beta glowing their respective colors brightly. "Common, sweetie, let's go tell the others!" Minnie exclaimed, pulling her fiancé to his feet. "Or why don't we scare the crap out of them?" 'Rado suggested, leaving Minnie in confusion. "Just press the copper inlay on your ring." Colorado explained quickly, pressing his as well. And soon, the two engaged Freelancers were completely invisible and sneaking out to scare the living daylights out of the rest of Valhalla's residents


End file.
